Hong Kong on the Horizon...

The waiting game is getting to me. It has now been 2.5 months since I found out I will be serving in the China Hong Kong mission starting December 3rd. The time has passed quickly, but I feel as it draws nearer that each day prolongs itself more and more just to taunt me. Although I've been grateful for the time to prepare and be with family for certain events, I am so ready to just go! In fact, in many ways I am already gone...

I love being at home with family and it definitely has it's financial benefits; however, I find myself going stir crazy from time to time. Wenatchee is simply beautiful in the fall, but even its calming influence does little for my restlessness. Time is the problem. When I have time to think about things, I get into trouble. Knowing I am about to leave for 18 months to a country I am hardly familiar with to teach people in a language I don't know tends to bring on a whole range of emotions that I desperately try to suppress. These emotions accumulate day by day, mound up in heaps in the corners of my room like a pile of dirty laundry, and then taunt me until I break down and resolve to sort through them. As I sort, I ask myself, WHY am I doing this? Who's idea was this anyway? WHY am I postponing grad school and other dreams to spend a year and half living like a nun? Ok, not really like a nun, but close...:)

The truth is, just as a pile of old clothes can easily be tackled, cleaned and put away, these emotions are easily shelved when I focus on one thing - agency. Serving a mission for my church was actually something I felt prompted to do. However, I chose to act on that prompting. That action led to China and who knows where China will lead me, but I am confident that it will lead me to where I want to go. Even if I am not sure where that is right now. Agency brings with it the weight of responsibility. The difficult part will be making my decision the right one by making the most of every day I am in Hong Kong. I believe there are times in our lives when we have the opportunity to pick and choose our battles. At this point in my life, this is the battle I have chosen and I hope to do all I can to come out triumphant.