My Next Marathon

In many ways, I am still unsure of what this whole mission thing entails. Yes, I've heard numerous stories and advice over the years and been given specific information and preparation tools tailored to where I'm going and the language I'll be speaking. Yet, every mission is different and every person is different. No amount of advice or research can prepare me for what I am about to begin. Sometimes you just have to do it.

For some reason, to just "do it" has been much harder than I thought it would be. I decided to serve a mission over 7 months ago. Much transpired before then to prepare me spiritually, physically, emotionally and mentally, and many things have happened since then. I knew I needed money to pay for my mission, so I went to Alaska to work for 4 months. Returning home in September felt like I was finally hearing the gunman say, "on your mark..." The paperwork, studying and shopping preparation was minimal compared to other events going on in my family, so it was only until several weeks ago that I realized he had already said, "get set..." I've been waiting in this "get set" position for a while now and there is nothing more unsettling than the anticipation you feel before that gun goes off. This Wednesday, the gunman will say "GO!" and I have this inkling that it will not be as exhilarating or short as my 100 yard hurdle races were in high school. This will not be a sprint. This will be a marathon.

Fortunately, I have some experience with marathons. They usually take months of preparation and a lifetime of living well and taking care of your body. You can prepare and train all you want, but there is nothing like actually running the 26.2 miles in one go. Marathons require physical, spiritual, mental and emotional preparation (at least in my book they do). Many runners ask themselves part way through the race, "why am I doing this?" This is usually because they can't feel their legs or they can feel way too much of that blister that just formed on the inside of their left arch. They are long, exhausting and sometimes painful. So why? Why do so many crazy, psycho people like myself run these things? I'll tell you in two words - runner's euphoria. It's possibly the closest thing to bliss I have yet experienced. It's the all-encompassing feeling that I have accomplished something hard, something near impossible for the human body to do. It was hard, yes, but it was worth it. The training paid off, the scenery was breathtaking, people were encouraging and I had the opportunity to encourage as well. The rewards along the way and the reward at the end is priceless. And in my case, I know I didn't do it alone.

Many have asked me why I am serving a mission with much of the same tone that one might use when asking me why I run marathons. I don't blame them. I've asked myself the same question many times. In fact, I've felt much like Tevye did in the musical "Fiddler on the Roof." I find myself saying, "So, God...Do you know why I'm doing this?...Of course you know....Would you mind telling me?...Not yet?...Ok...Maybe a couple clues, eh?...I know, I know...Patience..."

I have a suspicion that my answer will come much the same way my reason for running marathons came - after the fact. Maybe something like "missionary euphoria." No matter how hard it is, no matter how long, exhausting or possibly painful, it will be worth it. The reward will be priceless. And I won't have to do it alone. As the good book says, "They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." (Isaiah 40:31)

Hong Kong on the Horizon...

The waiting game is getting to me. It has now been 2.5 months since I found out I will be serving in the China Hong Kong mission starting December 3rd. The time has passed quickly, but I feel as it draws nearer that each day prolongs itself more and more just to taunt me. Although I've been grateful for the time to prepare and be with family for certain events, I am so ready to just go! In fact, in many ways I am already gone...

I love being at home with family and it definitely has it's financial benefits; however, I find myself going stir crazy from time to time. Wenatchee is simply beautiful in the fall, but even its calming influence does little for my restlessness. Time is the problem. When I have time to think about things, I get into trouble. Knowing I am about to leave for 18 months to a country I am hardly familiar with to teach people in a language I don't know tends to bring on a whole range of emotions that I desperately try to suppress. These emotions accumulate day by day, mound up in heaps in the corners of my room like a pile of dirty laundry, and then taunt me until I break down and resolve to sort through them. As I sort, I ask myself, WHY am I doing this? Who's idea was this anyway? WHY am I postponing grad school and other dreams to spend a year and half living like a nun? Ok, not really like a nun, but close...:)

The truth is, just as a pile of old clothes can easily be tackled, cleaned and put away, these emotions are easily shelved when I focus on one thing - agency. Serving a mission for my church was actually something I felt prompted to do. However, I chose to act on that prompting. That action led to China and who knows where China will lead me, but I am confident that it will lead me to where I want to go. Even if I am not sure where that is right now. Agency brings with it the weight of responsibility. The difficult part will be making my decision the right one by making the most of every day I am in Hong Kong. I believe there are times in our lives when we have the opportunity to pick and choose our battles. At this point in my life, this is the battle I have chosen and I hope to do all I can to come out triumphant.